Wholeness
The scientific slant of our culture encourages us to analyze the details of whatever we're looking at and to draw a conclusion. This works well with mechanical and scientific projects, but if we apply this to relationships, we can create a distorted picture of that person. We can always pick out negative traits, but what's necessary for a strong relationship is to see the partner holistically. See what's inside the person and know his or her heart. That way, when you deal with particulars, you'll have the big picture in mind, and you won't blow the little things out of proportion. If our judgment is balanced, we can be generous and give them plenty of slack.

Intimacy
In post-modern culture, some see intimacy as an anachronistic refugee from stringent Victorian times. You don't have to be a prude to value it, though, as it enhances relationships.

Sexual unions have the potential to be fun, intense, ecstatic, and bonding. They can trigger transcendental experiences. But we call intimate relationships "intimate" for a reason: they are about our private lives. You've probably seen someone on TV talking about how great he is in bed. Once someone goes public with that information, then that relationship is no longer intimate. It strips away a delicate closeness. We've lost some dignity and talked our way into an ego trap.

Intimacy, like poetry, exquisite music, or fine painting, is an art. If we are sensitive, we can create a beautiful work, and the result is romance.

Faithfulness/Loyalty
Faithfulness adds an element of security to the relationship. Some have downplayed the security aspect, saying that it has a deadening effect. This might be true if that's the basis of the union. Psychologically, though, people need a sense of security. It brings peace. Faithfulness also is a cornerstone of trust and is strongly tied to intimacy and honesty. Without it, suspicion and jealousy grow. With it, confidence grows and you can allow others to be more independent.

Independent, Dependent, Codependent
The independent/dependent polarity creates instability. If partners become too dependent on each other, then the relationship becomes "codependent." We're told that this drains us, so we avoid this by acting more independently. Yet, too much independence — radical self-reliance — weakens the union too. The truth is, we need others and we need freedom.

A family of light offers another option: a cofree relationship. This is not the opposite of a codependent relationship. Here, each party expresses his or her need for the other while granting the other whatever freedom they need. It's a flexible and dynamic state that supports and empowers one another.

Marriage
Marriage is an ancient institution that provides a legal foundation for a union. It bestows obvious social, economic, psychological, and religious advantages. A "marriage made in Heaven," though, doesn't need the formal legal or religious format to be strong and lasting. A commitment from the heart has more bonding power than any piece of paper or vow.

Children
Children are a blessing. If both parties don't love each another, though, then having children will likely create suffering for everyone involved. Conversely, a loving couple that produces a child will treat him or her with love. The child will experience love firsthand, will have an excellent chance to be happy, and will probably make the world a better place.

Conclusion
A family of light applies dynamic, spiritual principles that incorporate yet transcend the wisdom of the physical world. They are at once spiritual and practical. This isn't some idealistic, archaic, or fantasy state. Neither is it perfect. It is, however, real. It provides a sound basis for lasting personal happiness and growth and, in a small way, uplifts society as well.